Meditation and lovemaking
In 1970, Masters and Johnson made popular a new technique that they called “sexual focusing”. This technique simply consists in focusing one’s attention on the sensations that occurr during lovemaking, without letting one’s mind to loaf.
Applying this technique during foreplay or during massage exercises was the first step in curing sexual dysfunctions for both men and women.
Similar to the Concentration (Dharana) phase in Yoga, the sexual concentration is an absolutely necessary phase for reaching the perfect harmony in couple, by favouring the focusing of the very powerful energies that take place during lovemaking and guiding them to the high levels of the human being.
We don’t have to see the method of achieving a meditative attitude during lovemaking as an exercise, as an instrument or as a technique performed in order to obtain a purpose in the future – the sexual performance, the mystique experience or anything else.
It is better to see it only as a way to go deep inside of us, in the present moment, in what we are doing and in what we are experiencing, therefore a way to stop our thoughts.
There are more aspects of eros we can firmly focus our attention on, in order to eliminate any other thought, in this way driving ourselves close to the subtle plans of the mystique conscience. These aspects of the lovemaking can be active or passive.
Let’s take as an example, the touch: we can either concentrate our attention on given touches that represent the active aspect of touch, or on received touches that represent the passive aspect of touch. Also, the aspects of erotism can be general or specified, depending on how many sensations are perceived in the same time.
Yet, the most beautiful feeling is the feeling of merging with the lover and with the entire Universe. This phenomenon appears step by step through continuously refining of the transfiguring act.
The stopping of the thought has become a popular technique. In the arsenal of occidental therapeutics, this technique has entered powerfully after the 70s, being used as an active and direct treatment in the fixed idea (monomania). It came in contrast with the psychoanalytic method which was slower, more indirect, though in a certain direction – more comprehensive.
The idea that a person can direct her perception and attention, performing in this way a certain control over his/her own cognitive functions, is applied in order to modify the sexual behaviour. It proves to be very useful especially when the sexual dysfunctions are generated by a disturbing mental pattern that occurs during the lovemaking.
As much as we start to focus ourselves on the sensorial, direct perceptions of the erotic act, it becomes obvious the idea that “these thoughts occur to me” and that “I am not these thoughts”. Therefore, we will let those thoughts pass over us and go out of our conscience without giving them any value or becoming attached to them.
As soon as we will become aware of the fact that the thoughts are external to our being and that just by feeding them and by accepting them we make them alive and sustain them, we will easily realize that it is easy to stop their activity.
An efficient way to begin is to ignore them and not pay any attention to them, by making efforts to concentrate over the sensations we feel while making love.
With the time passing, the stopping of these thoughts will occur spontaneously, while the person is paying attention only to the orgasmic and sensual experiences.
